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		==================================
			The Monitor
			  Issue #2
		==================================





<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Merrimack Encounters Monitor
by DEO
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Welcome to issue 2 of the Monitor, a PVW federation magazine. Thanks
to Brian Bell and me for contributing. Do you want to contribute?

No? Well screw you. If you do send crap to urapicky@gmail.com

Tommy Poe still sucks.

Oh, and thanks to Brian Bell for helping out! (The rest of you suck
almost as much as Poe).

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
The Inside Scoop
by "Dirty" Danny Diggler
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Boiling Point is finally in the books and what a PPV it was!  However
the discussion about the amazing wrestling has turned towards
lawsuits, rules, and the after math of the event.  My spies have kept
their ears open and here is some of the gossip floating around ...

- The masked superstar who used the Rebirth is indeed managed by Todd
Johnstone and is going by the name The Demon Shadow. Spectre is still
on the do not sign list released by Strickland Sports Network.

- Internet websites are buzzing around the web about Mike Cox. He is
already building quite a fan club. www.mikecoxrox.com had a quote on
there as to saying - Mike Cox new nick name is "The Idiot Killer". We
don't know what this means quite yet?

- The Head of Security wasn't the only one to suffer the axe after the
negative fall out from Boiling Point.  PVW acting head of operations -
Christopher Michaelson has been reassigned by SSN into overseeing the
"Global Surge".  Ironically enough Jessica Marshall most known for
orchestrating Marshall Law in UWF has shown up with Alex Martinez at
her side and SSN full support.

- After it was revealed that Scrayper was the Man with no face and all
but finished Caleb Foley off.  Foley and PVW parted ways as PVW asked
CalebFoley to get his head on straight and then come back. The young
Irishman hasn't been the same since his father passed away.

- Gibson Hayes was apparently livid after Boiling Point declaring that
a conspiracy took his Network title away. Something about El Outlaw
LOCO being Lee Harvey Oswald was muttered but our Spy couldn't crack
Gibson Hayes secret service.

- The Widowmakers have been talking to their lawyers about the actions
of William Craven and his wooden sword on manager Johnathan Regnigh.
Law issues and William Craven are no strangers.

- Larry Gionet ignored orders by PVW doctors in not wrestling at
Boiling Point. His shoulder needs time to heal but the PVW warrior has
refused to take any time off.

- On Heatwave the show has been kept under wraps. However we did hear
something about two title matches and some sort of Battle Royal that
will lead into Tradition III.

- Speaking of Tradition III our spies have finally found out that
Tommy Ryder and Nick Wright will finally have their blow out match
putting everything on the line!

- Youtube has a popular video of Rick Marley receiving the enema on
the exposed turnbuckle from the Mercenary.  It was rated in the top
ten most watched videos of last week!  Be right back I have to see
that again!

- Max Kelly who officiated the World title match was seen leaving
Jessica Marshall's locker room after the event. Is the referee making
a bit extra money under the table?

- Sinister has been ordered to take some time off to let his knee
fully recover. No word yet if the Chi-town beast will be in action on
Heatwave.

- Will Geddings the man who has been standing up against SSN since the
beginning has been overlooked and overlooked for title shots. We heard
Geddings complaining but when do we _not_ hear Geddings complaining?

- The Mercenary apparently has caught the eyes of PVW management.
Inside War Games the fans were going nuts the way he kept getting up
and fighting against all odds.  There is a market for guys that can
take a beating and keep on fighting and PVW feels that the Mercenary
could be a star on the verge of breaking out!

- Marcus Manson is taking exception to the claim that Larry Gionet is
the toughest SOB in the PVW. The Misery Machine has always taken pride
in being the toughest bastard where ever he goes. Don't be surprised
if sometime these two juggernauts collide.

- I can't say for sure but I swear there was more then one Benedict
backstage at Boiling Point and the other was in Chad Grimsson's locker
room.   Actually the more I think about it maybe it was just one of
the Pit Monster's groupies.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Boiling Point Pre-Show
reviewed by
Warren "Kicks Puppies" Husik
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Here we are at the Thomas & Mack Center in Las Vegas. Neat little
promo for the big show starts us out and then we go straight to a hot
crowd waiting to get in to see the first show. Then we go to Joshua
Morgan to the live studio. We then are treated to a Rob Cole promo.
Rob talks about the fans hating him now and how Chase Williams would
have been the man being booed if Cole hadn't gone all weird.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDCORE hitting the interviewer. If only Gary Hammond
were here, he'd be a lot meaner. We get it Rob, you've gone bonkers
and will harm interviewers. I find it odd that Hayes is still alive
after he's been assaulted so often but anyhow...

A match!

Masked Maniac and Gene Gains versus Joker's Wild.

Masked Maniac and Gene Gaines come out and MM brings out the shill.
Definite Hayes flashbacks, though I'm not sure if the real Fatty BouyZ
Meat Snax has anything to do with PVW at this point at least ole
Wrigley is pulling their weight. And here comes Joker's Wild. They are
on the crowd's good side.

Quick summary: Maniac is going on a shill spree for his corporate
masters while Joker's Wild have been relegated to curtain jerkers.

I hate recapping matches since I'm lazy so... FAST FORWARD >>

Hot match, Joker's Wild pull out a win and continue being the best
curtain jerkers on the planet.

Promos, promos, promos!

Doc Holliday (complete with kung-fu grip, elevator shoes, ACKSHUN
knife and costume leftovers from Tombstone) and Xavier Feyr (only
missing an ACKSHUN z) show they aren't too bitter of foes and share
some memories. They have differing points of view on the death of
Tucson Kid's career and whether or not it was right or wrong.
Different point of view for the Widowmakers showing not everyone
shares the exact mind of L. Ron Marley.

Then we get Tom "Slush's Boner Killer" Landis. Landis recounts what he
was doing when he met Gibson Hayes. Then again, most folks don't
forget when they meet Gibson Hayes because he's an obnoxious little
twat. He promises to take Gibson's pride but leave the belts to the
other two guys because Gibson compared Landis's wife's reproductive
organs to heavily trafficked areas about 300 times.

We then have...

"Viking in a Bottle" Jokull Balderson with Howie Mitchell and ACKSHUN
beard versus "Iron Cross" Hercher von Donkerhardt with ACKSHUN

anger!

Quick summary: Jokull has a kick ass beard and is annoyed with HvD
because HvD is one angry prick.

FAST FORWARD >>

HvD wins a pretty nifty match, with Jokull refusing to tap. Out comes
Todd "The Rod" Johnstone and some masked guy called Demon Shadow. TJ
and Demon tell HvD to exit and Demon Shadow destroys Jokull with a
fisherman's buster driver, known as Rebirth when done by the Spectre.
Methinks something *wink* is *nudge* going *wink* down *nudge*. Next
up: Showtime arrives in a car but we then get Maniac's Minute and Dean
Hayes is played for a patsy. I figure it is only a matter of time
before "Hangman" Dudley Hayes, "Mr. Ratings" Warren Hayes, Tyrone
"Purple" Hayes and Gibson "Red" Hayes all gang up on "Swinging" Dean
Hayes for disgracing the hallowed name of Hayes (only two of which are
blood related, those being Dudley and Warren).

Some chick and Caleb "Shipping Off to Obscurity" Foley show up, a
recap of the whole Man with No Face thing. Since Foley has been about
as chatty as a mute with a trachea hole and is pretty much certain to
be turfed we should get a treat on the card to see who destroys Caleb.
Shame though, considering the hero situation in PVW. But now we go to
the four man match between...

"English-Japanese Ambassador" Joshua Curtis with Ami Curtis and
ACKSHUN cross-dressing ACKSHUN versus Chris "Dark Soul" Werner with
Candy Malone's breasts versus Gavin Cassel with Katrina "Spanish
Vagina" Cruz versus Danny "Your Hero" Daniels with Supreme Belt
ACKSHUN~!

Quick summary: Four guys who want a chance at early PVW gold. Dark
Soul is flying up the priority list not only because he's proven
talent but also because he's one of the few fan favorites while Danny
Daniels is looking like a nice lower mid card heel with middle and
upper potential. Gavin Cassel is looking primed for straight to the
middle of the show with a push upwards sooner rather than later and
Joshua Curtis? Curtis may need to be retooled. He seems to be
alienating everything and everyone with his erratic actions and
insistence on trying to be an audience darling while acting like an
unhinged sociopath. Not sure if Curtis can pull it together or not.

FAST FORWARD >>

Well, well, well... Gavin Cassel ends up winning and thus we have a
fun face, hard face, hard heel and PVW's fastest rising enfant
terrible on the big show. Not a bad match up at all. Oh, fan run in
with some dude in a dress who swaps spit with "Ice Princess" and
attacks Curtis. Could be a way to get Curtis a connection with the
fans but not sure he'll like being punked out. Things are pretty hot
right now and we get a Chase Williams promo to send us out. He runs
down Cole and paraphrases a classic line. I cry havok at this but like
the message anyhow. Not a bad warm up but now it is time for...

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Boiling Point Pay Per View!
Recap by
Warren "I Hate Everyone" Husik
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

A nice recap of the events leading to the big War Games match (the
only good thing ever brought to us by Dusty Rhodes) between the
Alliance of Convience and Widow Makers Incorporated and then...

Massive graphic and a hell of a lot of pyrotechnics and also a hell of
a lot of crowd response. The audience was smoking hot in anticipation
for this PPV and they sure as hell showed it with their vocal chants.
My personal favorite? Hard to say as the final three matches were
filled to the brim with audience participation.

And now we go to Fred Hoyle, your ever loving baddy bad, and Chip
Lester, your probable kid toucher. While I like Hoyle and Lester I
busted out some old tapes and I have to say I really miss Sam Bradley
and Mickey Ralph. I think Sam's hiding in Baja California after that
whole mortgage fiasco and Mickey is probably shoved in the trunk of a
car that was driven into the Mississippi. Anyhow, some nice banter
about the Euro-expansion and some more build up for Wargames then...

"Pit Monster" Chad Grimssom versus Ronan Benedict

Quick summary: MMA style badasses fight to out badass one another.

FAST FORWARD >>... ooh, I get a text message during this match about
whether or not Will Geddings will manage job the opening match despite
not being booked in said match. I said: stranger things could happen.

So Grimsson, who is about 1 and 1/2 Benedicts, beats Ronan but Ronan
goes out to settle the score. I think these two are not finished yet.
Both looked like badasses and the banter between Hoyle and Lester was
pretty entertaining too, enough for me to stay in my seat instead of
going for nachos. While I am ordering some chicken wings and a medium
5 cheese pizza we find out the name of Joshua Curtis's cross-dressing
assailant: Mike Cox. I don't know him but he's not too bad. He is
wrestling because his mom told him to get a job. Aces. Good promo,
really brought out his attitude. Dean Hayes is still alive? Ker-a-zee.
After Fred and Lester bring people back to the PPV at hand we get...

Livestock & The Gutch versus The Killing Machines

Quick summary: The SSN lawyers and the I-Slash alumni end their
current conflict.

FAST FORWARD >> (Wrestling and wings; can you top that combination?)

The last few minutes of the match were ker-azy, like a certain long
lost Mr. Story. Definitely a nice way of putting the lawyers over and
the I-Slash alumni looked pretty good in despite their loss. The Gutch
made a nice promo at the start of the match that I didn't mention
until now (I was prepping some four cheese nachos... I like cheese,
okay?) Oh, and now we have Gibson Hayes and company. Gibson is hamming
it up about some injury he sustained (yeah, right)... oh, Mal
Practice! He's going by Malus Herbert and now they're trying to say
Gibson isn't medically cleared to wrestle with Mal's help. I liked the
building up of Gibson as a old fashioned cowardly heel, especially now
that he has a manager and bodyguard for him to rely on. More
importantly: could we be seeing the return of PAIN to the ring? Well
now it is time for Caleb Foley and the Man with No Face. I smell
squash, winter squash.

Caleb Foley versus "The Man with No Face"

Quick summary: Foley has been haunted by this guy with no face and
also has been influenced by Marcel Marceau. Foley's on the fast track
to outsville.

FAST FORWARD >>

Holy mother of sod! Foley gets a bit of offense then is destroyed. The
man sans a face is the Scrayper. He's got a resume from outside the
Biloxi-New York circuit and some talk of GIW and EMWC that I don't
know jack about (but ask me about the scene in Minnesota/Wisconsin and
Ohio in 1998-1999 and I can talk your ear off) and more high violence.
Some folks like this, I went to the bathroom after staple 3 and came
out to the straight razor... and here comes Dark Soul. Looks like we
know who Werner is facing next. Tommy Ryder and Doc Holliday share a
tender moment and will probably be picking out China patterns. I had
to get the snark out. Holliday is playing mentor to Ryder. So, wait,
will that end up with Ryder sharing the same fate as the Tucson Kid?
Not a bad moment and the build up for Wargames continues as we are
treated to...

Canadian Legacy versus The Wild Cards

Quick summary: Shock sticks and fun schtick to blow off this feud.

FAST FORWARD >> ...damn it, where did I leave my remo... oh here it
is!

The crowd sure does love the Wild Cards and the Cards take the match.
Happy fans and the Cards look as strong as ever. Definitely on the map
as far as tag teams go. I wouldn't be surprised to see them grab the
belts again. Don Cameron, on the other hand, is none too happy and
when the Cards and Legacy shake hands and Cameron, who is having a
fit, clocks Denis with his cane. Could we be seeing a manager turn?
Nope. CL hugs and we now get ready for...

"Flyking" Will "Job for Food" Geddings versus Vandal Gomez with
ACKSHUN silence!

Finally, Geddings can put this feud behind him. Things started out
with promise but Gomez's tendency to just stop trying has really
sucked the life out of this match up.

FAST FORWARD >>

Oh boy. Geddings still puts over Gomez as credible in this match but
comes out on top with a nice Eagle Claw DDT and White Flag Cloverleaf
sequence. Geddings looks to get payback for being fireballed... but
can't bring himself to do it and instead ignites the SSN t-shirt Gomez
was wearing. Great crowd reaction and Geddings has the fans solidly
behind him and has this feud behind him as well. Looks like Judd
Marley is a bit banged up and needs medical attention. Most accurate
statement of the evening incoming: JM: '*sigh* Perfect.  A Pay Per
View with approximately seventy commitable violent lunatics in the
building, and the medics no-showed.' However, you may have to up that
count to 71 as good ole Dr. Mal is still in the building. Looks like
Mal isn't here to kill Marley, despite their history. Mal actually
heals someone instead of harms and everybody is shocked. They'll
remain shocked as it is time for...

"Badboy" Randy Acorn versus Larry Gionet versus "The Blade" Justin
Cruise  (Number One Contenders Match)

Quick summary: Acorn is SSN's chosen one and was seemingly screwed out
of his birth in the PVW World Title tournament. Gionet is one of the
toughest men in PVW but has a screwed up shoulder from his great match
versus Chase Williams. Cruise is trying to re-establish himself.

FAST FORWARD >>

Nicely paced match but Gionet really needs to rest that shoulder. All
three looked good but Cruise comes out on top, which gives him a
needed boost that he'll utilize in the antagonist heavy upper card. No
one looked bad and Gionet is being packaged well as one bad mo'fo.
Okay, now we get some tag team from some other federation teasing. Not
my bag but I'm not booking this stuff so whateva. At least it puts tag
wrestling back on people's minds as we go to...

PVW Tag Team Title Match!
Urban Legend with hayhook and sewer alligators and some chick named
Saraphina versus The Prophets of Rage (C) with Pizzazz Elysee

Quick summary: Prophets are egotists, Urban Legend is missing a few
screws. Mix together and watch the fireworks.

FAST FORWARD >> Word of advice: pomegranate lemonade sucks.

This match gets out of hand in a hurry. The match seems rather hate
filled but the action outside the ring with Pizzazz and Saraphina ends
up getting way too out of hand and we have the match thrown out.
Boo-urns. I kind of get what they're doing but considering this
match's spot on the card and the fact it is a title match having it
thrown out rubs me the wrong way. Well, at least some closure comes on
the next Heatwave but I ain't liking this turn of events. Then we are
greeted to even more shilling for the Wargames. Rick Marely is our
fire stoker and he brings in more history. I think this probably would
have been better before the tag match and maybe gotten an interview
for the upcoming match in this spot because it is time for...

PVW Network Title and American Title Match!

"Double Champion" Gibson "Red" Hayes with Todd "The Rod" Johnstone,
Warren "Big Bubba" Hayes and ACKSHUN selling ability (C x 2)
versus El Outlaw LOCO with multiple personalities versus
"Hellraiser" Tom Landis and his lack of American Pride
versus Gavin Cassel with Katrina Cruz and her magic booty

Quick summary: Gibson's a dick and holds two title belts by the
throat, Landis is hella mad about his lady, Cassel is from near
Oakland and LOCO is off his rocker (and sells tacos via peddle cart)

Whoo lordy! A massive "Gibson sucks" chant pours in from the folks at
hand way before the Red one even shows his face. Gibby comes out last
and makes an odd entrance to "Living Proof"; he's dressed like a boxer
and then allows "Big Bubba" to read an offensive poem. Ooookay... I
would have rather heard Eliot Lipp's "Rap Tight", especially one of
his live mixes; that song is really, really good and sets the mood for
hatin'. Anyhow match starts out hot with a little back and forth
action between Hayes and Landis and...

FAST FORWARD >>

The card just got kicked up from high to overdrive. Excellent work by
all participants but especially El Outlaw Loco and Gibson Hayes in
making Cassel and Landis look like a million bucks. Loco sells a
Before the Fall for five damned minutes and Gibson could probably make
a Roomba look like a mid-card threat at this point in his career and
probably has room to grow as a cowardly heat transfer device. Cassel
pulls off a nice hardass style and Landis has never looked this good.
Hayes puts over Loco via clean pinfall then walks the tightrope to
hold on for his American title with a little help from his friends, a
fork, salt and a punch to the throat. Cassel will be wearing gold soon
and Landis may very well end high on the goody goody list. Loco will
be a great selling face to help give the Network title level heels
something to shoot for and, thus, this match not only wraps up a loose
thread or three but also kick starts a few things and amps up the
crowd even further for Wargames but not before Rob Cole reminds us
there is this little World Title shindig after the bloodshed. Another
set up promo and then, finally...

WARGAMES!

Widow Makers Incorporated
-"Showtime" Rick Marley (with Napoleon Complex), Xavier Feyr (with
Lilith), "Misery Machine" Marcus Manson (with some dude), and the Made
Men (Nick Wright and Mark Masterson with um, stuff?) versus "Phenom"
Tommy Ryder (with Lady Laura), Doc Holliday (with time machine), SINI-
STAR (with Hunger), The Mercenary (with Halliburton Sub-Contract) and
William Craven (with "Sweet" Melissa's remains in his car's trunk)

Quick summary: If you're at this point you've gotten all the history
you'll ever need via the card itself and probably complete colonic
histories of everyone involved too.

Damn if the crowd isn't ready for this match. The place is on fire and
Merc against Masterson will start us out...

FAST FORWARD >>

Yeah, yeah you're pissed I am not recapping this so you can go to
hell. You can essentially write out the whole show on your time. Me?
I'll let you go see the damn thing yourself. Anyhow, there was just
too much packed into this Wargames. A full year of build up and did
this thing blow over like an active volcano. Doc Holliday had the
people in the palm of his tuberculousy hand and WMI played the brutal
heel group to perfection. Craven's entrance to the fight was perfect
and Nick Wright did his duty and took the fall for WMI. I don't even
think this thing is really over. The match itself was great and Marley
is a legit contender for the big strap. Maybe Made Men will get a
chance for big money gold and who knows where Holliday will go from
here. Hell, everyone was on for both sides tonight. I can't say enough
good things so I'll stop... but I'll be damned if my hat does not go
off to those boys - great job.

Hokey smokes. After the Double Title match and Wargames we get a promo
for our next big show: Shattered Dreams. Then, of course, comes a
promo for the Powers That Be (gotta get that blood cleaned up and that
cage torn down, y'know). Holy mother of frog, The Last American Badass
has arrived in PVW. Of course, while he's had big runs all over the
place let's just say that the UEW connection keeps on connectin'.
Except this is like a UWF connection so maybe the call was collect?
Anyhow, A-Mart and Jessica Marshall come and, could it be? A respin of
the UWF Marshall law angle? I like it! I'd love to see someone re-do
that then go into the Biloxi-Boston playbook and bring out the Upper
Crust Control angle, but all four of the UC is retired (that'd be
Tyrone "Purple" Hayes, "Blockbuster" Johnny Detson, "The Prodigy"
Tracy Hudson and Nate Knowitall for those not in the know) but, I like
where this is headed anyhow. I wonder if we'll see "The Extreme Mr.
Excitement" Alex Extreme Epstein, "Candyman" Damien Rose, Jason
Keening or maybe even "Trixxster" Marvin Patch? Also when will the
other promotion bring in another marquee name? I wouldn't mind
seeing the WWO's Uncivil Disobedience, Apex, Ultimate Thrasher or
either Hayes (Tyrone or Warren) return to the limelight but I doubt
any of the names mentioned will ever be in a PVW ring.

BUT...

It is now time for a big ass match. The Evil Masked Broadcaster,
second only to Mark Stone in being evil, is in the booth, the blood
has been SHAMWOW'd and the cage is gone so we get to see two men kill
each other.

WORLD TITLE MATCH
for the vacant PVW World Title

"Conceited Bastard" Chase Williams (with pinfalls over Rob Cole)
versus "The Outcast" Rob Cole (with nutter gimmick)

Quick Summary: Williams has two pinfall wins over Cole, Cole's lost
his gat-dam'ed mind, blood will be spilled.

Well, we are finally here. I am surprised this crowd has anything
left. The lower card was solid and kept them busy but after the 4 man
scramble for the Network and American titles and the Wargames match, I
can't believe they have so much left to give. But, yeah, they do. Hard
to figure out who'll be the defacto crowd favorite... until Cole
brings out the railroad spike. Chase Williams has been having that
needle dip a bit into "goody-goody" land but has thus far kept the
bastard close to his heart. I think that wrestling mat was blue when
we started this thing, right? It's more of a rust color and Cole ain't
doing nothing to stop that.

FAST FORWARD >>

Sweet Georgia O'Keefe vagina paintings! Killer finish that keeps both
men in the crowd's mind (controversy does that if not over done) but
also puts some sympathy squarely on Williams shoulders and paints the
Network as shifty folks. Not bad, not bad at all. I loved this match -
solid work, great vibe and it not only held its own story but
connected all the dots for Rob Cole and Chase Williams. Hard not to
love that, no? For now Cole is king of one of the fastest rising
wrestling companies and he gets to enjoy it... then he gets to stare
down possibly Cruise, Marley, Gionet or Hayes. Yeah, no vacation for
wicked hearts.

Final Thoughts:
Great backend of the card, several good matches in the front, two
matches where the outcome was telegraphed earlier and one kind of head
scratching booking decision somehow adds up to one very hot card.
Great work top to bottom. We're seeing some strides being hit but I am
curious how all the mixing of new and old blood will work. So far, so
good but things look very bright. I'll give the card a 91% out of
100%, a very very good score from me. A definite winner.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
The Red Hot Five
by Preston Winfield
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

So you wonder where Preston Winfield has been hiding out?  I've
enjoyed my new role with the company as it has given me unlimited time
to work on my golf game.  However thank god for DVR I am still able to
catch all my PVW needs!  In this section we will run down the hottest
superstars leaving a trail of fire over the past month!

I think any "hot" list would have to start with our king of the
mountain, Rob Cole!  After having his number one contendership taken
from him he decided to wage war on _anyone_ that stood in his way.  A
trail of blood and bodies later at the end of Boiling Point he topped
off one of the better cycles anyone has had.

Let's stay with a champion trend as Gibson Hayes may of dropped one
title but he has the whole wrestling world talking!  For once when you
say "Hayes" you don't think about the WWO legend Tyrone.  Gibson Hayes
has caused a whole new level of hate in the back and he still stands
as your American Hero and PVW American Champion!

Doc Holliday entered the PVW to regain some retribution for his
injured student.  His presence alone shot energy like nobody else has.
The Widowmakers has to put it bluntly _dominated_ the league but all
it took was one man to change that and at Boiling Point you saw the
experience ... knowledge ... and superstar power come through as he
led
his team to victory!

Jumping to the Widowmakers ... Most will think I am going to say Rick
Marley but I am going to go with Marcus Manson!  The Misery Machine
has yet to lose a singles match inside the PVW and has brought in a
finisher that is as feared as the Thundermelter!  Marcus Manson has
been billed as a complete beast and he has not done anything to argue
that he isn't.  With big wins already under his belt he is finally on
the path to a potential title shot down the road.

And to finish off the Red Hot Five ... We got to the tag team
division.  The Wild Cards might have lost their tag team titles but
they were involved in the hottest feud leading up to Boiling Point
with Canadian Legacy.  They kept the fans entertained and on the edge
of their seat while winning.  They are in the perfect spot for a
rematch with whomever comes out on top with Urban Legend and the
Prophets and you can only expect that they will be Vegas favorites to
regain the PVW tag team championship!

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Interviews with Wrestlers
by Mysterious Unnamed Guy
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

A guy asked me if I'd be interested in doing interviews with wrestlers
I don't care about. I asked him if he was buying his Fatty BouyZ Meat
Snax. He kind of looked at me funny but then said yes. I made him go
to the store with me to buy some Fatty BouyZ Meat Snax and, as per
arrangement, I am now interviewing wrestlers I don't care about. My
first Gabby Jay? Some guy named Holliday.

Mysterious Unnamed Guy: So, Doc, can I call you Matt?

Doc Holliday: Ah reckon thet depends on if ah kin call ya T...

MUG: Well, I won't call you Matt anyhow; that was a warm-up question.
You're not really that short, how'd that whole thing get started, you
being called short?

DH: Wall, it all came about when ah wuz makin' fat jokes about Chris
Hopper.  He wuz desp'rit fer somethin' ta say ta refute mah claim,
so's he bought hisself a joke book, had it read to 'im, an' started
makin' short jokes.  Then ever'body woulda fergot about it, but some
clown from Tuscaloosa kept it goin', an' ah suspect ya don' wanna hear
no mo' 'bout thet.

MUG: I should probably write this stuff down. Let me just get my Fatty
BouyZ Meat Snax official transcribing pen (only $89.97 with 352 proofs
of purchase). So, you said Hopper was airlifted from the jungles of
Nairobi to the United States to eat all our vegetation, very
interesting. Okay, um, you're from Arizona and had a hard life growing
up: what made you decide to go into wrestling?

DH: Funny thang wuz, Brent Mueller... who ya'd know as Brent
Maverick... dragged me inta it.  Normally, ah wuz th' one who suckered
him inta doin' some fool thang or othah.  But aftah Arizona State, ah
wuz lookin' ta set up a job workin' tech support at a local TV
sta-shin, an' he went an' got in wrasslin' school one day jus' on a
whim.  Ah wuz onna Arizona State wrasslin' team in school, so he
called me firs' thang an' tol' me ta come do this too. Ah didn't
really feel it back then.  Anyone woulda thought thet ah'd be done in
a few years an' Brent'd be th' lifer.  It jus' worked out funny.

MUG: Arizona has a college? I thought it was all mining towns, hot
girls in bikinis and casinos. I remember that Maverick guy; didn't he
just run for president? Anyway, you were a pretty dirty guy, maybe not
as interested in entertaining folks but still one mean son of a bitch.
Why was that Tucson boy's career so important that you'd go after a
circus midget like Marley? It can't just be because you want a legacy,
you certainly made a huge impact in New York. Are you sure it isn't
just because you wanted more blood on your hands?

DH: Ah ain't sure ya know whut ah mean by legacy, then.  Mah impact in
New York wuz undeniable.  But did they keer in Los Angeles?  Or Saint
Louis?  Or Toronto?  Or Toledo?  This heah is a territorial business.
A man cain't build a true legacy by fightin' alone.  He has ta leave
somethin' behin'.  Tucson was whut ah intended ta leave behin' me.  He
wuz lak a son ta me.  An' when a man kills mah son, he bettah expect
mah wrath.

Ya don' do thet in this sport.  Sure, ya kin take out a veteran.  AH
took out loads of 'em.  Hall Of Famers.  But they's an unwritten law
thet ya don' cripple a rookie.  Fer many reasons... ya beat 'em half
ta death, sure, but nevah do 'em permanent. Reason fer thet is
simple... thet's our future.  Thet rookie might be makin' a mint o'
money fer ya four or five years later.  Ya don' know.  Ya let th'
rooks grow ta whar they kin han'nle theyselves, an THEN th' gloves
come off.  It is how thangs're done.  Rick Marley knows it, on account
of his own hide was spairt many a time.  So was mine.  Ah wuz TERRIBLE
when ah wuz a rook.  Believe me, greatness don' jes' roll right outta
wrasslin' school.  Tucson had th' chance to be th' next me.  Now ah
got ta start ovah.  An' he's got ta fin' a new life.  Ah'm sick ta
death fer th' kid.

MUG: That's... kind of strange, hearing you say that, at least to my
ears. I never gave anyone an even break and I really am having trouble
seeing you as a caring mentor. I mean, hell, I pretty much ended the
career of my best friend and never gave it a second thought. I would
have sworn you were just as right of a bastard as I was but maybe I'm
wrong. So, do you think you can ever step past this incident or are
you still going to fight and make Marley's life a living hell? I mean,
you don't seem to hold a grudge against any of the other Widowmakers,
just Marley.

DH: Ah mean ta exact justice.  It ain't revenge.  It's justice.
Thet's by th' Code.  Th' Code Of Th' Old West demands thet ah take
justice on behalf of mah boy.  An' don' be fooled.  Ah been cheered
before, ah been booed mostly; hell, ah been cheered an' booed inna
same show.  But Doc Holliday has not had some dramatic awakenin'.  Ah
am th' same man as whut broke Dan Thomas' knee, JC Pierce's back, an'
Ace Of Hearts' skull.  Those men were grown men whut could defend
theyself.  An' mah best friend?  It ain't Marley, but Marley's as
close as it gits.  Him an' ah go way back.  We was tag team champs in
Saint Louis before ah hooked back up with Brent.  Him an' ah went up
an' down th' roads many a year.  An' ya know whut?  He's STILL mah
friend.  He may not see it th' same way, but it's th' way this
business is.  Sometimes, ya HAVE ta cripple yer friend.  Our business
ain't lak th' rest of th' worl'.  Normals don' git it.  Only we do.

MUG: Can't say the wallets ever cheered me, except that one time I
broke my neck in Minneapolis but I'm drifting. Okay, I kind of see
what you're getting at but where will it end? You call it a code, I
call it an excuse. Tomato-Toe-mah-to, potato-vagin-o or whathaveyou.
Doc, if you have to will you leave Marley crippled, dead center in
that ring? And after that, then what? When will it end and what is
your final goal?

DH: Thet's it.  Thet's why ah'm back.  Aftah thet, it's jes' a
wrasslin' contract.  If Bill Craven puts Marley out first, thet's fine
too. He has a prior claim, see.  Code Of Th' Old West says thet if ya
respect a man, ya don' jump his claim.  Bill gits first crack.  If he
don' make it happen, ah git mine. Will somethin' grab mah eye between
now an' then?  Possible.  One nevah knows.  Mark Manson did me one
back in 2000.  Ah wuz Ultimate Champ... it's whut New York called our
Worl' Title... an' he was a Widowmaker.  Of which, as has been
attested, ah wuz head.  He came to a Pay Per View will full intent on
nothin' but killin' his opponent dead.  Someone came ta him with a
plan an' an opportunity while ah wuz wrasslin'.  He took it, an' came
down an' damn near killt me aftah th' match.  Ya know whut ah thought
of thet?

Ah thought it wuz absolutely th' right thang fer 'im.  Of course ah
came out an' said this, that, anna othah thang.  But inside?  No hard
feelin's at all, because he'da been fool not ta do whut he done with
th' backin' he got.  An' he wuz mah friend even while ah dropped him
straight on his melon an' put 'im away... it's business.  Ah may leave
aftah ah git justice on Marley, or ah may pursue business.  Ya nevah
know whar opportunity comes.

MUG: Ah, yes, Craven. I almost forgot about that weirdo. Anyhow, it
was um, a pleasure, trying to decipher your crazy moon language. Best
of luck to you. Oh, yeah, do you have anything else, figure I'd let
you have one final say in case I missed something.

DH: Ah do. Y'all go buy some Fatty Bouyz Meat Snax!  Now in new
boysenberry an' clamshell flavor!

MUG: ...damn it...

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Interviews with Wrestlers
by Mysterious Unnamed Guy
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Well, after I finished my world exclusive super interview with Doc
Holliday I went out and was looking for more wallets to scam. I found
Chris "Dark Soul" Werner doing something. I didn't pay much attention
to what exactly he was doing but figured I should interview him
anyhow.

MUG: Hey, Werner, you suck.

DS: Right back at ya, [MONITOR EDIT].

MUG: We don't use that name around here, Werner. So, after killing yet
another federation with your inability to be interesting, are you
planning to be interesting at any time in the future?

DS: I haven't decided.  I think I'll don a mask and act like a sexual
devient.  That will probably make you happy, right?

MUG: I, um, have no idea what you are talking about. I heard you
signed a contract with PVW. Why? What made you, a long retired guy
with bad cargo shorts, come back to wrestling?

DS: I needed a new pair of cargo shorts.  Oh, and I thought it would
be joyous to try to annoy a Hayes.  Still haven't got the shorts or
done the other thing.  I should really get started on that.

MUG: Well, I hear Hayeses are pretty fun to annoy. You've made some
impact in PVW and looks like you're going to be facing off with some
freak with a stapler, named Milton Scrayper or something. What in the
Sam Hill makes you do stuff like that? I mean, crazy sadist shows up
and you throw yourself at him like some dog in heat. Why?

DS: I really needed a staple gun to put up my Fat Chinese Roundhouse
poster.  I was watching Boiling Point and like an angel from heaven,
there it was on my TV.  Figured it was fate.

MUG: FCR? I think he beached himself off of Bondi Beach. Anyhow, so
what ever happened to Apex? And why is Candy Malone still clothed?

DH: Candy's actually a Mennonite.  For her, wearing a top that shows
cleavage is actually not wearing clothes.  That's just how she rolls.
On the same topic, Apex has found religion.  He's currently on a
scientology speaking tour.  It kinda makes sense now.

MUG: All banter aside, why return? Really Chris, why come back? It
isn't as if you didn't get beaten to hell and back all those times in
Biloxi.

DS: All banter aside, eh?  I came back for the same reason I started.
Because I know that I am better than the people I watch on TV and the
fans deserve a higher class of wrestler, as the Joker might say.
That's why I'm here.  And plus, it just annoys the shit out of a few
people like Johnny Detson on whatever gay porn set he's on and really,
I haven't had a high like that since college.

MUG: Traffic school isn't college. Back to the issue: why should they
care about a relic like you? I mean, it has been 6+ years since Biloxi
closed shop. Why should the fans think that a relic from the past can
compete?

DS: William Craven still gets attention from the fans and he's pushing
60 so I'm not all that much of a relic.  I won't tell you why the fans
should care about me.  They just do.  And if they don't, I bring Candy
to the ring.  That's enough reason, I guess.

MUG: Sounds to me like you have no idea why the fans would care about
you. So, anyways, when you get beaten up by America's Greatest
Champion, my personal pal Gibson Hayes, will you be proud to say you
met him when he was getting his start?

DS: I like my past against guys with the last name Hayes.  I'll be
proud to add another win against one.  Maybe I can go after Dean Hayes
next, but they have some new rules against that, I guess.

MUG: He's kind of disgrace and should be forced to change his name. If
I had my druthers he'd be Dean Quesada. Last question: what's your
goal in PVW?

DS: To have three titles at the same time.

MUG: And that, folks, is why you should hate Dark Soul.

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Blah de blah blah
by
DEO
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Well #2 is in the books but I'd like to say something. I can't really
go on providing most of the material for this thing so if you would
like to send something in it'd make so I will not say: screw you
thingie, I'm not doing this any more.

That is all.